She whispered, so I had to lean in and then ask her to repeat: "Are you ready for Christmas???"
For one thing, it is December 3rd. That's 22 days before Christmas, and I think putting the ham in the oven NOW might be a tad premature. Also, I only celebrate Christmas because of the cultural expectation to see my family and give them stuff now and then. It's a convenient enough occasion to do so, though I must say the travel would be much easier in the summer.
Surely some bank customers are not Christians... so isn't the assumption that "ready for Christmas" is a state I wish to achieve a bit presumptuous? But I went along with it, as she recounted her gift list status, acting as if I could actually afford to buy gifts this year. But then, before I could get the hell out of there she had to ask, "Do you bake, too?"
Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I have on occasion baked things. But this holiday baking subculture is not a part of my life. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it is offensive when someone assumes that just because I'm a white woman in the US I have a baking agenda for December. Well, the bank teller certainly does. I was literally done and backing away as she recounted the six batches of cookies plus xmas morning bread repertoire.
I am really not ready for Christmas.
Besides the obvious financial burden for someone without a real income, I am now sucked in to a North Idaho family extravaganza. If I had work I could claim I could not afford to be in Idaho for a whole week, but as it stands my only possible excuses are sudden illness or a bad attitude.
My cousin (on my dad's side) is paying for a fancy condo on Lake Coeur d'Alene for her mom and sister and their men to stay while they are in St. Maries with her dad's family. There is a sofa bed and free transport for me, but aunt Rosie wants to leave on the 20th and spend one night at the trailer of one of her drinking buddies up in the woods (I'd be on the couch), and now it turns out my mom's family won't be celebrating Xmas until the 26th, when my cousin (on my mom's side) gets back from his wife's family in Montana. And the condo where we are staying is an hour or mor from anywhere on icy, windy roads... and I have to rely on relatives (drunk relatives) to drive me anywhere.
The irony is that neither I nor anyone on either side of my family really cares about celebrating Xmas. Except the cousin who is paying for the condo (she once dragged us to the world's largest Xmas market in Rothenberg, Germany... I had a hangover... we were there for hours).
On the bright side, the condo building has a heated indoor pool and a restaurant with a bar. And I have plenty of books to read.
I'm not sure I'll get to making all of it, but I am set for the following menu for Thanksgiving.
There are a couple of extra chairs at the table if you're interested!
Now I'd better get prepping because so far all I've made is the cranberry sauce.
Thanksgiving 2009
Deviled eggs
Variety of cheeses with French bread
Corn Lemongrass Soup with crab and mussels
Arugula Fennel Mint Prosciutto Pomegranate Salad
Turkey – brined and deep fried
Cranberry sauce – with ginger and Cointreau
Traditional Stuffing with pancetta
Mashed new potatoes with skins on, and mascarpone and chives
Gravy -
Pearl onions roasted with a port reduction and bay
Green beans sauteed with wildrice, mushrooms, bell peppers and pinenuts
Crème Brule
Pumpkin pie with whipped creme
There's much to be grateful for and I try to remind myself of that every day.
Some days I forget.
But I'm glad there's one day of the year when we in the United States are invited to take stock of the abundance in our lives. I hope each of you are with people who are grateful for YOU this year and who express it.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Dizang asked Fayan, "Where are you going?"
Fayan said, "Around on pilgrimage."
Dizang said, "What is the purpose of pilgrimage?"
Fayan said, "I don't know."
Dizang said, "Not knowing is most intimate."
The Book of Serenity, Case 20
This kind of intimacy is real intimacy. No gap. No
ideas about who this is or what that is. Just being one, right here, right now, complete, whole, undivided. Just this.
This intimacy is the heart of Zen practice.
Who knew Coolio had a cooking show? On the web, but still...
This video is in pretty poor taste, but it's funny and it is hands down the best way to make a delicious turkey.
Here's our bird from last year coming out of the fryer. Yum! Last year I made two turkeys, a roasted one and a fried one. The roasted one was great, but this year, there's only one way the bird is getting cooked. Coolio style.
Since there's a big round number coming up in not much more than a month I've been thinking about what has happened in my life in a DECADE. It turns out quite a lot.
- Married in October, 1999.
- Marriage ended in November, 2004.
- Divorced in May, 2007.
- Friend E murdered in August, 2000.
- Friend S died tragically this month.
- Mom got Leukemia, had a stem-cell transplant, lived.
- Dad got cancer, did a lot of chemo, had surgery, died.
- Got hired thrice.
- Laid off thrice.
- Started 2 businesses.
- Went back to school & got my BA.
- Visited: Texas, Oklahoma, France, Germany, Belgium, Holland, Italy, Spain, Denmark, Sweden, Czech Republic, UK, Mexico, Canada, Virginia...
- Had flings. Dated. For the first time since high school.
- Met and became good friends with my rockstar crush, David Gedge.
- Lots of friends had babies. I chose not to.
- Quit drinking for nearly a year.
- Started therapy.
- Went on anti-depressants for 2 years.
- ... and then weaned myself off.
- Wrote most of a memoir.
- Started blogging.
- Grandma Faye died.
- Grandpa Frank developed alzheimer's.
- Nearly got out of debt, but then got in further.
- Bought a digital SLR camera.
- Started doing yoga.
- Discovered the benefits of "friends with benefits"...
- ...and the non-benefits.
- Got a Meyer's Parrot, Beatrice.
- Fritz the iguana died.
- Paid for my elderly cat to be injected with radioactive iodine.
- Lived through my early-mid thirties.
- Lived alone for only the 2nd time ever.
- Started a record label (make that 3 businesses)
- Discovered the joys of cocaine.
- And then stopped.
- Went from having a job to having a sort-of career.
- Sang karaoke. Never imagined I would like that, but I do.
If we were children I would bake you a mud pie
Warm and brown beneath the sun
Never learned to climb a tree but I would try
Just to show you what I'd done
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe, I had you
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
If I were old, my dearest, you would be older
But I would crawl upon your lap
Wrap a blanket 'round our frail little shoulders
And I'd die happily like that
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe, I had you
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe, if I had you
So lace your hands 'round the small of my back and I will kiss you like a king
I will be your bride, I'll keep you warm at night
I will sing, I will sing
It was now and we were both in the same place
Didn't know how to say the words
With my heart ticking like a bomb in a birdcage
I left before someone got hurt
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe, I had you
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe, if I had you
Mark asked me what the Holidazzle Parade was and so I thought I'd show him. It's a Minneapolis tradition and even though I've been back in my hometown for the past several Christmas seasons, we've not made it downtown to see it since I lived there. Maybe I will go this year, assuming it's not several frigid degrees below zero or I can find a nice warm spot in the skyways.
Holidazzle Parade - Meet Minneapolis photo
Originally uploaded by meetminneapolis
Please enjoy.
I was going to write a novel this month, like everyone else. (I hope someone still reads novels)... Actually I thought I'd finish the one I started last year, which combines a historical lesbian murder mystery with ex-pat magical realism. In Paris. Yeah.
But then 2 weeks ago my former boss called. I stopped working for him in Feb 2008, and he has since hired and fired several replacements, but right now the position is vacant to keep costs down. He needed help writing a proposal for a Microsoft project due in 2 days (how I don't miss those flaming hoops). So I agreed to crank it out for some freelance dollars. And I did, and even went with him to pitch it. All went well, but we didn't win due to the technical complexity... we could have pulled it off, but I am glad not to be working on it. It had a stupid schedule, and I think I already mentioned how I don't miss those flaming hoops.
Meanwhile, he got the opportunity to bid on 23 interactive applications for a museum. I got a copy of the RFP a week ago and agreed to work on this proposal as well... that means basically scoping out each (highly complex) application, budgeting, and a lot of half-sales, half-technical writing... by the 24th.
So all I'm doing, all day and all night, and even on my birthday Monday...is writing proposals. So maybe I'll write a novel some other month.
At the start of the day I thought I knew what today's "Note From The Universe" meant and I laughed out loud at its perfect timing and choice of words.
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However, at the end of this day, I am less certain what it means than when the day started.
But it is Friday the 13th and perhaps it's time to think some entirely new thoughts.
The Universe is looking out for me. I just need to keep listening.
